CONFESSIONS

Song of The Day /// St. Vincent - Digital Witness

I find myself practicing self-restraint and discipline. 

I guess that comes with the new territory I am about to enter into. A few days ago I got the news that sets my plan for the next three months into action. I got the promotion to become a trainer. I now feel a responsibility to hold myself to a higher standard and to be aware of all my actions.

I think the biggest thing that happened in the past few days is that I confimed my sexuailty with someone other than Reianna. It shouldn't be a big deal and I guess I won't make into one. I am comfortable and confident enough to call myself a bisexual man. However I don't need my sexuailty to define who I am and I know I won't let it. I am just writing out these words here to have them curtation of myself and growth. Y'all are my digital witnesses.

I've also stopped myself from engaging with people whom I normally would have. I guess for someone reading this, you need some back story: I had a recently ended a relationship with a guy didn't have the same mindset as I did. I wanted a relationship that he didn't warrant. We went a few weeks without talking and I regrettably messaged him asking for a restart without feelings. Nothing came out of it, which made me  feel a range of emotions from frustrated to sad.

Recently I don't see the point in continuing those relationships, when in the end it's pointless.  When I think about that situation I do feel a bit empty for something that could have been. {it's okay to feel like that.} But that's what discipline and self-restraint is all about, right?